im outtie to disneylandd :]
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
August 4 , 2009 .
www.ihatecassandra.com
uqh i hate her soooooo much .
she is sooooooo ANNOYING .
like rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly annoying . lol
jp , im bored .
today is nice & sunny . yay ,
im hungry . lol
omg idk wht to write , w|e . -__-
hey look at this video i made in my computer apps. class . its kinduh wack bt yeh lol (random)
uqh i hate her soooooo much .
she is sooooooo ANNOYING .
like rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly rlly annoying . lol
jp , im bored .
today is nice & sunny . yay ,
im hungry . lol
omg idk wht to write , w|e . -__-
hey look at this video i made in my computer apps. class . its kinduh wack bt yeh lol (random)
Monday, August 3, 2009
August 3 , 2009 .
I just felt like putting a picture up . lol
this is of me and wun of my besties KRIS (taken like 2 summers ago lol) .
proly celebrating his b-day this weekend @ tha beach =]
wells rii now i'm in tech class , duh .
ummm , yeh i'm bored & TIRED . jeez -__-
Cassandra is freakin MEAN , btw ihy beach if yu ever see this .
newhoo , i jus ate the egg frum MISS Summer's sandwich lol .
how cn yu NOT like eggs ? thts ridiculous lol jp .
idk wht else to write so thts it , i'm done !
P.S. Cassandra is Sofa King Anne Hoy Ing .
Thursday, July 30, 2009
July 30, 2009 .
[NUMBER ONE THING : whooo took this picture ?! lmao . just look at my face , lol . omgee , damn thanisha looks mad focused , nd kevin looks dazed out ahahah . ]
it is Thursdayy ,
woohoooo Six Flags , me & my hubby on Sat. =]
here jammin to Right Here (Human Nature) Remix by SWV & Michael Jackson . i'm in love w| this songg .
been tryna qeht tht on my pg , which is : www.myspace.com/miszpaiqe328 ADD ME =]
newhooo , they MAKING ME record for a segment lol ,
lemme qoo fiqure out wht ama say . -__-
CHRIS BROWN , still makes GREAT music !
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
July 22, 2009 . Happy Mood :D
ummm , jus here in class w| this girl Cassandra lol .
idk wht we doinq todayy bt yehhhhhh ...
sooooooo , I WAS FORCED TO WRITE ! lol .
nah , its not rlly tht bad , i wanna stay in this class all day .
newhoo , i hope its nice for Friday - BEACH ! maybeee ,
okayy ama qoo bye-bye now =P TTYL .
much love ,
Paige
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Truth Behind Tears
It was a story I would'nt volunteer to tell for the first few months after she passed. Tears filled up the bottom of my eyes and a dry feeling came in my mouth every time someone asked me about it. And I never once said I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Even though now when I think about it, it doesn’t seem so harmful. Anyway, I should probably get to the point. It was Grandma’s birthday and Tia Selena wanted to take us all out; must have been a weekend because I did not have school. I remember not feeling up to it but I went anyway because I did not want to be in the house alone and I didn’t want to leave Grandma. Annie was a little past a year old and John and Penny were still together.
I’m pretty sure John took my mother’s car that day; we had Annie’s car seat in the backseat. Penny went along in that car and Selena drove Grandma and I to a park in Hoboken. The fresh air of Hoboken reminded me of the days Grandma and I would walk down Washington and make compras. She would buy me a container of cubed watermelons from the fruit market and we’d buy the ingredients to make those empanadas. I wish I could still roll up the dough with her; use the long glasses as rolling pins and forks to seal the empanadas up. Now I’m reminded of what a beautiful woman she was. I feel privileged to have known someone like her and I’m glad we spent the time together when we did. But through it all, I learned all good things must come to and end; even if it be a tragic ending for me.
It was sunny and I had sat on the wrong side of the car. We parked and Selena got out of the car. I had an urge to get up but I didn’t. She opened up Grandma’s walker and helped her out of the passenger’s seat. I still hadn’t got out the car. Grandma sat in the seat of the walker and Selena pulled her from the back; there was a bump in the groove of the sidewalk and when Tia tried to roll the wheels over it, the chair came at a sharp stop. Grandma, in a world of wonderment, says, “Y que paso?.”
“Nada, Mama. Descupla, es que no vi eso,” and she pointed to the bump on the ground. This memory always goes in slow motion in my thoughts. Tia Selena moved to the front of the chair and put her lean-looking arms over Grandma’s big belly grabbing onto the handles which were being used as armrests for Grandma. Watching from the backseat, I saw as Tia pushed the chair back and Grandma fell straight back in her chair; skinny Tia Selena went tumbling right over Grandma, her feet flew way up in the air. In total shock, I popped up out the car. I rushed to help up Selena off the ground. John and Penny were across the street. I see Annie’s tiny form high up on John’s shoulders. He holds her as he would hold a basketball; but then again she was a perfect round ball.
John was like a brother to me; or at least I wished he was. He had no other siblings just like me, so I figured I could call him a brother, even though I knew he was my cousin. He had big, strong shoulders that made Penny look absolutely scrawny next to him. Angie’s plump, ivory cheeks squished her eyes smaller when she laughed her magnificent baby laugh. I could call her my niece; I mean why wouldn’t I? It would only make sense to. And Penny was a sister-in-law; an exceptional candidate to be my other sister. She was as sweet as anything and would laugh at my irritable jokes. She was cool, I liked her and I’m pretty sure she liked me, too.
They saw the after effects of the incident and their faces dropped suddenly. John gave the baby to Penny and paused only for a car to pass by. “Call an ambulance,” he said in a high pitched, worried tone. I was still panicking but I flipped out my cell phone quickly. Mom was calling. I couldn’t even speak much but I proceeded with the news.
“Mom, Grandma fell outside on the sidewalk. We’re here in Hoboken with Selena and John. She fell out the chair and hit her head. An ambulance is coming. John says to call Bianca and let her know what’s happening,” those were the words I told Mom. She said a few things and hung up quickly. I mostly remember her telling me not to panic. Boy, was that going to be a mission. I could tell I was panicking, my fingertips felt numb, and I wasn’t sure if I should cry or not. We didn’t have to call the ambulance because and off-duty cop had already come to our rescue. Annie sounded off like an ambulance siren causing people on the park’s benches and swings to stop their chatting and laughing to recognize a serious accident across the street.
The cop told everyone to step away from Grandma. Bianca came flying out of the green Volkswagen; her worried, trembling lips made everyone twitch a bit. Everyone was worried, yet Grandma practically lifted her upper body off the floor and told everyone she was fine. She gave the cop a look of scrutiny for overreacting and continued her own exam of her wellness. She looked her scraped hands and asked Selena if she was OK. Our next trip was to St. Mary’s Hospital, about seven blocks away or so it seemed with all the square turns we took. Bianca and Selena went in the ambulance with Grandma. The cop retired back to his family and I went in Mom’s car with John, Penny, and Annie.
I sat in the back with Annie and an awful odor had sparked up my nostrils; it was Annie. When we parked, I wasn’t rushing to go inside. I wanted to find my mother and I was a bit thirsty; don’t get me wrong Grandma was still in mind, I just get intimidated by hospitals mostly. John changed Annie’s diaper and I waited out in the front of the hospital’s entrance. A strange sight, I would catch onto later was that I saw Penny pull out a box of Newports. She lit up the delicate roll and gracefully waved her arm away when she let out the white smoke. Had I realized how odd this was, I probably would have motioned my way towards her but my mind was already racing with dangerous thoughts.
Finally Mom came. She almost rushed right past me, she didn’t see me. I called out to her, “Mom, wait!.” She hugged me and she went to the lobby’s huge desk. I sat down on one of the big leather chairs in the lobby. The hospital looked more like a fancy hotel than a place for the sick. When we got to Grandma’s room, a nurse told us that not all of us could go inside. Bianca, her husband, Tom, and he step-daughter Allie, left the room and let us in. Allie squeezed my hand as I passed her. I looked at her face and was surprised to see that her eyes were watering up. I’ve known Allie since I was three and she was four, and not once had I seen her eyes water up. One time my 2nd cousin Jonathan threw a small, but heavy brick at her face, and although she got red, hot mad and her face was scraped badly, her eyes did not water up. She just found a glaring look that scared Jonathan witless.
We entered the room to find Grandma sitting straight up in her bed. Mom hugged Grandma and examined the large patch of cotton they had taped to the back of her head.
“Estas bien, Mama?,” Mom asked.
“Nada mas es un golpe que me di, los doctores dicen que se parece a algo no tan serio,” said Grandma. “Ven mija, dame un abraso, yo se que estavas procupada, pero todo esta bien ahora,” she told me. I hugged Grandma as she requested with the utmost appreciation that all was well. The past few months would prove Grandma wrong. Or maybe she just always knew her time was near. The main thing I felt bad about was not getting outside the car to help. I could have prevented a tragedy in my life, a death that affected me greatly; if I only had thought. Now at her funeral, was I crying and sobbing because I knew I was going to miss her and I already did? Yes, but I was also crying because this was my fault. She was dead because of me and my actions, but nobody knew, nobody noticed, and I doubt it if anyone cared. She was gone now and we would love with the memory. Others could forget but I will always remember that day. On the hundreds of Kleenex I used up wastefully, were tears of guilt and sorrow. This was the truth behind my many, many tears.
I’m pretty sure John took my mother’s car that day; we had Annie’s car seat in the backseat. Penny went along in that car and Selena drove Grandma and I to a park in Hoboken. The fresh air of Hoboken reminded me of the days Grandma and I would walk down Washington and make compras. She would buy me a container of cubed watermelons from the fruit market and we’d buy the ingredients to make those empanadas. I wish I could still roll up the dough with her; use the long glasses as rolling pins and forks to seal the empanadas up. Now I’m reminded of what a beautiful woman she was. I feel privileged to have known someone like her and I’m glad we spent the time together when we did. But through it all, I learned all good things must come to and end; even if it be a tragic ending for me.
It was sunny and I had sat on the wrong side of the car. We parked and Selena got out of the car. I had an urge to get up but I didn’t. She opened up Grandma’s walker and helped her out of the passenger’s seat. I still hadn’t got out the car. Grandma sat in the seat of the walker and Selena pulled her from the back; there was a bump in the groove of the sidewalk and when Tia tried to roll the wheels over it, the chair came at a sharp stop. Grandma, in a world of wonderment, says, “Y que paso?.”
“Nada, Mama. Descupla, es que no vi eso,” and she pointed to the bump on the ground. This memory always goes in slow motion in my thoughts. Tia Selena moved to the front of the chair and put her lean-looking arms over Grandma’s big belly grabbing onto the handles which were being used as armrests for Grandma. Watching from the backseat, I saw as Tia pushed the chair back and Grandma fell straight back in her chair; skinny Tia Selena went tumbling right over Grandma, her feet flew way up in the air. In total shock, I popped up out the car. I rushed to help up Selena off the ground. John and Penny were across the street. I see Annie’s tiny form high up on John’s shoulders. He holds her as he would hold a basketball; but then again she was a perfect round ball.
John was like a brother to me; or at least I wished he was. He had no other siblings just like me, so I figured I could call him a brother, even though I knew he was my cousin. He had big, strong shoulders that made Penny look absolutely scrawny next to him. Angie’s plump, ivory cheeks squished her eyes smaller when she laughed her magnificent baby laugh. I could call her my niece; I mean why wouldn’t I? It would only make sense to. And Penny was a sister-in-law; an exceptional candidate to be my other sister. She was as sweet as anything and would laugh at my irritable jokes. She was cool, I liked her and I’m pretty sure she liked me, too.
They saw the after effects of the incident and their faces dropped suddenly. John gave the baby to Penny and paused only for a car to pass by. “Call an ambulance,” he said in a high pitched, worried tone. I was still panicking but I flipped out my cell phone quickly. Mom was calling. I couldn’t even speak much but I proceeded with the news.
“Mom, Grandma fell outside on the sidewalk. We’re here in Hoboken with Selena and John. She fell out the chair and hit her head. An ambulance is coming. John says to call Bianca and let her know what’s happening,” those were the words I told Mom. She said a few things and hung up quickly. I mostly remember her telling me not to panic. Boy, was that going to be a mission. I could tell I was panicking, my fingertips felt numb, and I wasn’t sure if I should cry or not. We didn’t have to call the ambulance because and off-duty cop had already come to our rescue. Annie sounded off like an ambulance siren causing people on the park’s benches and swings to stop their chatting and laughing to recognize a serious accident across the street.
The cop told everyone to step away from Grandma. Bianca came flying out of the green Volkswagen; her worried, trembling lips made everyone twitch a bit. Everyone was worried, yet Grandma practically lifted her upper body off the floor and told everyone she was fine. She gave the cop a look of scrutiny for overreacting and continued her own exam of her wellness. She looked her scraped hands and asked Selena if she was OK. Our next trip was to St. Mary’s Hospital, about seven blocks away or so it seemed with all the square turns we took. Bianca and Selena went in the ambulance with Grandma. The cop retired back to his family and I went in Mom’s car with John, Penny, and Annie.
I sat in the back with Annie and an awful odor had sparked up my nostrils; it was Annie. When we parked, I wasn’t rushing to go inside. I wanted to find my mother and I was a bit thirsty; don’t get me wrong Grandma was still in mind, I just get intimidated by hospitals mostly. John changed Annie’s diaper and I waited out in the front of the hospital’s entrance. A strange sight, I would catch onto later was that I saw Penny pull out a box of Newports. She lit up the delicate roll and gracefully waved her arm away when she let out the white smoke. Had I realized how odd this was, I probably would have motioned my way towards her but my mind was already racing with dangerous thoughts.
Finally Mom came. She almost rushed right past me, she didn’t see me. I called out to her, “Mom, wait!.” She hugged me and she went to the lobby’s huge desk. I sat down on one of the big leather chairs in the lobby. The hospital looked more like a fancy hotel than a place for the sick. When we got to Grandma’s room, a nurse told us that not all of us could go inside. Bianca, her husband, Tom, and he step-daughter Allie, left the room and let us in. Allie squeezed my hand as I passed her. I looked at her face and was surprised to see that her eyes were watering up. I’ve known Allie since I was three and she was four, and not once had I seen her eyes water up. One time my 2nd cousin Jonathan threw a small, but heavy brick at her face, and although she got red, hot mad and her face was scraped badly, her eyes did not water up. She just found a glaring look that scared Jonathan witless.
We entered the room to find Grandma sitting straight up in her bed. Mom hugged Grandma and examined the large patch of cotton they had taped to the back of her head.
“Estas bien, Mama?,” Mom asked.
“Nada mas es un golpe que me di, los doctores dicen que se parece a algo no tan serio,” said Grandma. “Ven mija, dame un abraso, yo se que estavas procupada, pero todo esta bien ahora,” she told me. I hugged Grandma as she requested with the utmost appreciation that all was well. The past few months would prove Grandma wrong. Or maybe she just always knew her time was near. The main thing I felt bad about was not getting outside the car to help. I could have prevented a tragedy in my life, a death that affected me greatly; if I only had thought. Now at her funeral, was I crying and sobbing because I knew I was going to miss her and I already did? Yes, but I was also crying because this was my fault. She was dead because of me and my actions, but nobody knew, nobody noticed, and I doubt it if anyone cared. She was gone now and we would love with the memory. Others could forget but I will always remember that day. On the hundreds of Kleenex I used up wastefully, were tears of guilt and sorrow. This was the truth behind my many, many tears.
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